Drunk and Hot

On my way to a pickup, the passenger is texting near gibberish. I figure I’m close, so I’ll at least get there and assess the situation visually.

She calls me and asks if I’m on my way, and I say of course. She asks me how long and I say a couple blocks away. She says something I can’t understand and I say don’t worry, I’ll find you. She hangs up.

Now, honestly, I don’t have any idea who I’m picking up.  I don’t even catch the name to guess a gender. I just accept, slap the navigation button, and start on my way. I don’t care what gender / race / age they are. They need a ride, I’m giving a ride.  Hopefully, they’re happy and I get a tip. Best case scenario where everybody wins.

I turn onto the street a couple hundred yards from the pickup location. Immediately I see this chick stumbling quickly across the street.  She stops for a minute, looks at my car, raises her arm and points.  I hear a loud voice, then observe it quiet as she turns her head and continues walking across the street.

Great, I think. At least she has a nice figure, but jesus, she’s wandering around in the street. I pull up next to her and she turns and points again.  I roll down the window and she asks “Uber?”  I say yes, get in before you get picked up for drunk and disorderly conduct.  At this point I’m figure it would be better to help get her out of trouble and get her the hell home (as I did with a dude before, too) than to flee and chance puke in my car.  That doesn’t even cross my mind. Nobody needs picked up for public intoxication in this county. Tent City is pretty unforgiving.

She gets in and I pull into the middle of the street for a moment, checking my map.   She says she wants to stop at the gas station and the destination she put in is where she works and not where she wants to go, so ignore it. Ok, I ignore it.

So since she wants to go to a gas station and gestured forward, I start driving forward and get back into the lane I should be in.  She tells a story I’m honestly not listening to as I pull into the gas station.  She says be right back and gets out.  She immediately walks up to a truck full of guys yelling and saying “Don’t be a bitch!  You’re not mad at me are you?”  and I recall she had said that to me a few times in the couple blocks I just drove her.

I consider cancelling the ride and fleeing, but it’s a train wreck situation I can’t look away from.  They seem amused by her too, so they talk to her a minute or so. I start thinking, if this takes too long I’m out because I’ve been getting a bunch of ride requests and don’t want to slow down. She goes in and comes right back out.

“That bitch kicked me out! Wouldn’t serve me!” she explained as she stumbled back into the car. I wanted to be sarcastic and ask her if she was serious, but I didn’t want to for various obvious reasons.

So, she apparently is sober enough to punch in the location where she lives.  So we head that way.  She starts to calm down as I assume she realizes I’m not freaking out on her and fuck knows what got her so riled up in the first place.

Once we got off the highway and started into the area she lives she asked me how tips work with Uber.  Hadn’t realized she was that new to it. She asked “I don’t have cash today, how about a blow job? You’ve been really nice, too nice.”

She was far, far too drunk. She was very attractive, the more I got glances of her. But there’s no way. I laughed and told her no, that’s not something I do because I don’t want anything to go crazy and not be able to drive for Uber anymore.

She told me some stories about her family and I knew her life story as of the last ten years or so by the end of the trip. She was pretty nice under the tieing one off after a bad week. Glad I gave her a shot and picked her up instead of fleeing for my life.

When she got out she gave me her number and took mine, texted me, and said she wanted to use me in the future. She had me sit and ran in and got ten bucks to give me for a tip. Was pretty cool.

Last night I picked her up again, driving 35 minutes out of the area I was in to get back to where she was.  I was a little irritated she gave me 6 bucks less than she offered, as what she gave me was less than I would have made had I sat where I was and took the next pickup and went on with my evening.

Then, the brakes started acting up and I decided to call it a night until I could get the brakes looked at the following morning.  Glad I did, because the pads were about to the point the discs would start taking damage.  So instead of what could have costed several hundred dollars to repair, it was less than 200. Not too bad. Almost hit 50k miles on those front brake pads, and the back are only a little over half worn.

Side note, she looked even better last night than the night before. But she’s pretty nice, and said she was actually knitting me a bracelet. Found it a little odd, but she means well so I’ll pick her up again if she needs, assuming I am available.

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